fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize