Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize