trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
