I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
