Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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