I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
