So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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