yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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