I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
