Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How's work?
Spinning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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