need another drink. this is the easiest way
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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