I murdered the dance floor call the cops
from now on my penis is your penis
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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