My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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