apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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