I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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