I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
