the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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