absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
