I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
