on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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