i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
