sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
