What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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