Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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