One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
