i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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