every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
