i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize