She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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