I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
