I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
time to smoke my breakfast
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
