why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
