Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
did i just pee glitter
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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