bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
