matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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