I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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