hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
