we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
