Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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