I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
