you didnt know i had herpes?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
