from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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