They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
