My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
