ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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