Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize