u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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