I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize