I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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