I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
