So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
