My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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