dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
