You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
