ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
